The Greatest Ten Zillion Movie (and TV) Lines Ever Written

Yes, comedy is hard. Hard to write, hard to time, hard to act and almost impossible for a director. And what’s more, it’s fleeting. Most humorous scenes or lines have the lifespan of a gnat in the public memory.

Occasionally, however, comic lightning strikes, and a memorable line will push your buttons so squarely you’ll be able to recall it years later, and smile in remembrance of when and where you first encountered it.

I hereby submit a few of the funniest lines I’ve ever heard (along with a brief description of the setting – for the best humor arises from situation), and invite you to add your own favorites.

1. My absolute favorite line actually comes from television. It was in an old “Odd Couple” episode, when Felix had to come up with a substitute band for some gala affair. After searching frantically, he was talking on the phone with Oscar, and exclaimed, “Ma Gump won’t work on Gabby Hayes’ birthday!” I literally fell off my chair the first time I heard that line.
2. One could fill a whole article with the humorous lines from Mel Brooks’ classic “Young Frankenstein,” but the one I liked best was when Cloris Leachman, as Frau Bleucher, admitted her relationship with the old Dr. Frankenstein by shouting dramatically, “He vas my boyfriend!” Followed by a horse whinnying.
3. Who can forget the great line from “When Harry Meets Sally?” After Meg Ryan demonstrates her ability to fake an orgasm in a deli, a sweet little old lady (who was actually portrayed by director Ron Howard’s mom) tells her waiter, “I’ll have what she’s having.”
4. Remember the very last line of “Some Like it Hot?” When learning that his intended was a boy instead of a girl, he shrugged and said, “Well, nobody's perfect!”